To sit and wait.
I feel as if this is the very thing I have been invited to these past months.
At moments it felt uncomfortable and unfamiliar, because as life (and my tendencies) would have it, days became full and weeks became full and months became full and I became tired.
However uncomfortable and unfamiliar it felt to sit and wait, it simultaneously led me to recognize that I had tied up so much of my worth to the fullness of my schedule-- what I was producing, what I could do for others, what I had to show for "growth".
To sit and wait for my soul-- to face the questions that have been smothered to silence by distraction, this is what am growing to treasure.
And I feel that I am coming closer to enjoying moments in their wholeness, with a mind a little less cluttered and a heart a little less consumed with my own wants and needs.
I sit and wait upon my soul to-night,
and watch the sea and sky,
That silent moon's far-reaching light
That glorifies the night.
Now would some keen, hard-headed son of trade
Laugh loud at me, and say,
"Tell me of what stuff a soul is made.
The thing's no good in trade"
And proud philosophers would hard contend
To tell me all they knew,
Forgetting that the lights of heaven blend
And shine, while they contend.
So each one to his wish, and as for me,
I sit tonight and wait
To find the answers to my soul in me,
And in the beauty of the sky and sea.
-Max Ehrmann